today i was supposed to see a clinical psychologist bc of where other shit led me yeah, but i didn’t actually go. and i’m actually pretty pissed off with myself for not going but at the same time, the past 2 weeks have been exhausting. just everyday, something has happened. and tbh i haven’t even given myself any time (only when i smoke some bud yknow (:: ) but like after two weeks of focusing on others, (WHICH IS NOT, N O T a problem for me bc its my responsibility to) - today i just gave up and didn’t have enough energy to go and get myself some help and some understanding of what the fuck i’m going through. and yknow what, i’m sorry to those who have actually tried speaking to me. but i cannot talk to anyone. its just hard. i dont like talking about my shit bc its fucking deep and others dont need to know all about my life. and thats not me being like all fuck people, its me defending others from shit that not even i can deal with. so i’m sorry. to my boyfriend, my friends, just random people who pop up to me. i’m sorry. idk what this even is. me clarifying whats going on. ? i dont know. i got my shit together now. but i know that it’ll go. and i’ll just disintergrate once again. so, yeah. i’m okay..